Married Sex: 9 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life
After years of marriage, is your sex life starting to dwindle?
You're not alone. Around 12% of married people say they haven't had sex for at least three months.
If you're going through a dry spell with your spouse, you may be wondering how to make sex interesting again. In this post, we'll tell you how. Read on for our advice on how to improve your married sex life.
9 Tips for Great Married Sex
Here are some ideas to use with your partner.
1. Communicate More
Communication is essential for good sex.
A lot of couples get into the habit of just doing it and hoping for the best. This quickly starts to get boring. Instead, you have to get used to being more vocal in the bedroom.
Don't be afraid to tell your partner what you want. If something's not quite working for you, tell them. A little feedback can go a long way.
In that same vein, you'll need to be just as willing to take feedback from your husband or wife. Talk to them about what they're into and you'll both enjoy sex more. You never know, you might learn some new things about each other!
Is there something you've always wanted to try? Do you have a fantasy that you've never told anyone about? Talk about it!
This can be uncomfortable and a little embarrassing at first, but you have to get past that in order to have an open dialogue about sex.
These discussions will not only improve your sex life but also bring you closer together as a couple.
2. Get Body Positive
Many people find that body hang-ups hold them back in the bedroom.
If you're feeling shy or self-conscious about your body, chances are that you won't be so willing to get naked in front of your partner. You might start hiding your body under baggy t-shirts or turning the lights off before having sex, and eventually, you may even stop having sex altogether!
You need to be comfortable in your own skin in order to be relaxed and confident in the bedroom. How can you focus on having a good time if you're worried about your belly or cellulite?
Learn how to get body confidence, and you'll be able to let go of your insecurities and enjoy sex more.
3. Try Some New Positions
In a married sex life, couples often fall into a routine. You learn what works and stick with it. While that can work for a while, there's no excitement in it.
Switch things up by trying some new positions. Missionary and doggy style are old favorites, but you need to do something different from time to time.
Ever heard of 'the galley', 'the cradled cowgirl' or 'the maypole'? Do your research on new sex positions to find out what they are and how to do them.
4. Experiment with Sex Toys
Sex toys can bring a new dimension of pleasure to the bedroom.
If you find the idea a little intimidating, don't worry. There are so many different types for you to choose from. Whether it's a vibrator for her or a cock ring for him, you're bound to find something that works for both of you.
Do some shopping together to find something you both like, and have fun playing with it together!
5. Buy Some Lube
If your sex life is drying up in more ways than one, consider buying some lubrication.
Lube can help things along and make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for the both of you. Besides, if you're buying some new toys, you'll need it!
Lubrication is one of the sex drawer essentials for couples. Make sure you have it in your bedroom at all times.
6. Initiate Sex
Is your partner always the one who initiates sex? If so, that needs to change.
If one person always has to get things started, they'll eventually start to feel as if you don't desire them. They might think that you view sex with them as a chore, or that you're just not that into it. That can start to put a downer on your married sex life, as well as your relationship as a whole.
You can change all that by initiating sex yourself. Instead of waiting around for your partner to bring it up, surprise them.
7. Spend More Time on Foreplay
When you are your spouse first got together, you probably spent lots of time getting to know each other's bodies and having long, steamy sessions. However, these days you might skip most of the foreplay and get straight down to business.
Once the honeymoon period is over, it can be easy to do fall into this routine. Quickies can be great, but foreplay should never be overlooked. Skipping it can be a passion killer.
Instead of jumping the gun, build up some excitement by doing lots of foreplay, first.
8. Make Time for Sex
When you're living a busy married lifestyle, you don't always have as much time as you'd like to have sex. In fact, you may struggle to find any time at all.
One solution is to schedule it. Planning out your time slots for sex may sound unromantic, but it can work wonders for a stale married sex life.
When life gets hectic, sex often has to take a back seat. Putting it on your calendar is sometimes the only way to make time for it. Besides, making appointments can give you both something to look forward to.
9. Lock the Bedroom Door
If you have children, anxiety about being interrupted during sex may be stopping you from having a good time.
Worrying about someone walking in on you can be a big turn-off. To put your mind at ease, put a lock on the door. You'd be surprised how much it can help you relax!
Bring the Spark Back
These tips can inject some excitement into any married sex life.
What works for one couple may not work with another, so play around with different ideas and find you both like.
If you need some more bedroom inspiration, read our post on how to spice up your love life with your significant other.